I am on a mission to distract myself from my wangst! It’s like angst, but with more emo. I know, like that makes any sense. SO. My wonderful Uncle bought me several things for college, including a giant-ass box of earplugs, which makes me all happy and nostalgic and also intensely amused. I have a favorite brand of earplugs! It’s so ridiculous. I tried some to make sure they’re the right kind and they are, they so are, and having my rocket-blasting-off computer go quiet was so nostalgic. Now I just need the Amada in the background going KACHUNK KACHUNK KUNKKUNKKUNK KAhisss. Or the Bridgeport making unearthly banshee wails, but I prefer the Amada’s clunking. Seriously, banshee. There were a few times I wished for death rather than that sound.

I’m doing a lot of sorting and packing now. I really can’t wait. I’ll miss my family and friends, but man, classes! I miss classes! And my own place! I want to get contact paper and cover the walls with tentacles. It will be monstrous, and I will love it. :D But for now, I need some damn ice cream, because I am totally off-kilter and miserable. Fortunately I have recently acquired a supply. Good day, Internet.

Edit: *rocks out to half a dozen different versions of One Winged Angel and JENOVA* YESSSSSS. This is my idea of joy. :D Now I just need an awesome version of Cid’s theme and I am ALL SET.

Last night I had the strangest dream. I was a serial killer, and I was totally okay with this, and I refused to kill kids but somehow kept choosing families that had at least two. The whole dream made it seem like this was a perfectly natural set of events, and it was eerily tactile. A lot of sensation, although even more bizarrely, now that I think about it… Most of what I was feeling was color. Lots of blues, some obvious splashes of red, a little green and yellow. And these colors were sensations. It’s kinda impossible to explain (much like how I taste metals when I touch them), but now that I think about it, it’s pretty unique to this particular dream-setting, which is somewhere in Florida. Yes, seriously. I’ve never been to Florida, but I happen across this dreamscape now and then that’s in Florida, and it’s always got a lot of ranch-style houses in suburbs with loads of color. Palm trees and wide flat lawns and bushes, picket fences and pools. It’s hard to get my bearings in this place. At least the place that’s based on my hometown makes sense. I could map it out, even.

But yeah, I had a very nice soothing dream where I was a serial killer, and then I got up and went grocery shopping with my dad and brother and did not kill anyone. I did end up speaking in a very quiet, restrained voice and taking deep breaths about every three seconds. “Well why should I put things on the list? I can just grab them when we’re there.” Grrrrarrrgh. “Everyone has their own special brand of bread and you’d better not screw it up!” GRRRAAAARRRRGH. “I don’t like that toilet paper, it falls apart. Let me replace it with this crap brand. Oh you hate this kind? Whoopsie, better luck next time! Oh look a shiny thing made of pure sugar, I’m gonna silently wander off and then come back with $50 worth of candy.” DEAAAAAATH. I really can’t wait to be on my own again.

Speaking of which, I have been cheerfully making a wishlist for college. Dorm living will entertain me. I need to put earplugs on the list. Unfortunately I am picky about earplugs. Whyyyyyyy.

THEY HAVE A SHOOTING CLASS

SERIOUSLY

ALSO ROCK CLIMBING AND ARCHERY

Today was so unexpectedly good I almost want to keep quiet for fear of jinxing it.

Dad and I went on the tour of what shall be my lovely campus, and I marveled at the peculiar color of dirt here (WHY IS THE DIRT RED) and the city is startlingly big and busy and intimidating, and the athletic facilities are AWESOME (as in THERE IS ROCK CLIMBING and AN INDOOR TRACK and A FULL GYM and EVERYTHING ELSE) and I was getting all worried that I wouldn’t be able to find an apartment close to the school and sad that I’d be so far away and alone and depressed etc. etc. so we talked to the housing guy and after a bit of talk about apartments he tossed in “well I have some single rooms in the dormitories…” and I said WHAT REALLY YES. So yeah. :D I get a single in a co-ed dorm. It’s one of like, four on campus. I am SO FREAKING AWESOME. I am no longer scared of the big red-soiled city, which is technically half the population of my hometown and way cooler, and college will be freaking awesome and I’m so excited. I get a meal plan! Dude! So cool! Also I did not realize I’d be so close to Philadelphia. I also finally told Dad that I’m married, and I guess I should tell Mom sometime too. It took a lot of talking to convince him that it’s been a practical engagement from the start, and I suspect Mom will be the same way, and it’s actually a lot of energy having that talk. But I feel better now that I’ve said it all. ^^; And Shan will be sworn into the Army next Monday! I’m so excited for him! I hope he gets the job he wants, they’re being a little fickle about that. Everything good is happening all at once~ I’m gonna get paranoid now. XD

P.S. I’m posting this from Dad’s desktop in a hotel with a great view of a green-lit pool which is very lovely. It’s kinda surreal. I was playing FFXI earlier. ^^; Dunno where we’re going tomorrow - Hershey, maybe? Maybe just around town. Definitely gonna see Wall-E though.