OH MY GOD I LOVE MY SHOW

I WOULD MAKE THIS TEXT HUGE AND SPARKLY IF IT WEREN’T MIDNIGHT
MORE OF THIS TOMORROW

AHHHH I LOVE IT

Install success! Of the Linux part, anyway. There’s a lot left to do, but the only thing I feel comfortable doing without checking to make sure I’m doing it right is changing the permissions of a bunch of stupid folders. >_> Being root in Kubuntu is annoying, having to sudo su. Not that I want to be root often, but when I su, I want it to work. Anyway. There were some issues with me being dumb and putting things in the wrong place, and then not being able to fix it because of permissions, but Shan fixed that for me because I got really frustrated and now all is well. :D So now I just need to install Windows and copy about 62GB of stuff to the second hard drive, and get used to Kubuntu. I has mahjongg! <3 I am addicted to it. It’s sad.

Been in a weird mood lately, a little paranoia. I’m worried I’m going into another downswing. Now is really not the time for that shit, brain. On the other hand, it could just be PMS. ‘Bout that time, old chap.

Dad sent me a 120GB SATA hard drive, so I’m gonna combine that with the awesome power of my current drive (which I think is 80GB SATA or something) and have MEGA-GIBRALTAR. He’s gonna weigh even more, oh man. XD Following this I will install Kubuntu to replace Gentoo, which is not something I could maintain on my own. And then transfer everything I backed up on the server back, and then copy FFXI back to the Windows partition, and then have a party! Well, no party, but I will feel very proud of myself. And then I can install the new FFXI expansion and check out that giant creepy thing in West Sarutabaruta!

Okay, time to install some hardware. *rolls up sleeves*

There is nothing to put things in perspective quite like having to end a phone conversation by saying, “Dad, I’ve got to go, I think someone just got hit by a car.”

I was talking to my dad on the phone and then I heard a thud and when I looked up a girl had been hit by a van. She woke up a few minutes later, and the fire ambulance was just around the corner and thus got there impeccably fast, and someone called her emergency contact and some family member got there just after she woke up, and I was useless because everything had been done already. The more time I have to think about it, the more freaked I’m getting, so I need to stop that. I left once the ambulance got there. I think tomorrow I need to figure out how to make sure she’s doing okay.

I keep saying, “I just saw a girl get hit by a car,” and I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say. Her groceries are still there.

Lately I have been geeking out over FFXI, the bestest online game ever (It’s been up since, god, when? Years and years ago, and still going strong with a bajillion servers and new expansions). I’ve also been getting Christmas presents, reading school stuff, working on blueprints, and staring horrified at the documentation for MythTV. I have class tonight but none tomorrow, and I think tonight is more listening to other people do interviews, but I could be wrong. In the meantime, I will try to ignore how everything STILL tastes nasty (I’ve started taking a spoonful of cocktail sauce now and then to clear it out of my mouth) and I will probably play FFXI a lot. Might go into the woods again later this week. Also, it snowed last night, finally - just some wet gunk, but still! Snow! <3 Glad I don’t have to drive in it.

So basically, content and fuzzy and warm and good. <3 I swept up the other day, but I should clean for real soon. Wrapped up all the presents I’ve already gotten, just a few more to go. Uncle George, something else for Shan, something for his mom, and a card for his brother-in-law. I should get something for my brother, I guess. There are issues there, and I always give in and get him something because it’s not worth the tears and recrimination to refuse.

Okay, this is bugging me - I moisturize my hands like mad, and this is the second year that my right hand AND ONLY my right hand dries up to a withered claw no matter what I do. I can’t feel anything! It sucks! D: D: D:

Okay, um, not complaining - but it is very unnerving to discover that a credit card that previously had a $500 limit is suddenly a $1500 card. SNEAKY. I keep thinking - I didn’t ask for a limit increase! Why did you give me more money and not tell me! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. But I am just paranoid and think this is a trap somehow, when in fact it’s a huge relief. Yeah, it’s the card that actually has an APR, but it’s breathing room if anything bad happens or, you know, I need to replace the car’s brake pads. Which I do need to do. So there we go. >_> I gotta do that soon, too. Particularly before winter settles in too bad.

I feel really weird today, shaky and just generally sick. Threw up a little. Bleh. ;_;

Feeling better! Yay me! Actually did some cooking, too - just BLTs and the like, but mighty tasty. But now I gotta do dishes. ;_;

I was just thinking about weird stuff, like that ad with the random German-talking in it, and how I have to consciously take note when someone is speaking in another language with phrases I happen to know - I have trouble remembering to translate for the people around me if necessary, because everyone understands what they’re saying, right? And I realized that for some reason, German sounds more natural to me than English. I have trouble making some of the sounds easily, but the language makes so much sense until we start giving things genders. It just - it sounds like home, somehow. I really don’t know why. Japanese doesn’t poke that part of the hindbrain, and I’ve never had enough interest in French to do more than get by in Montreal. I learned a tiny bit of Arabic from a friend in high school, and that triggered something, but I don’t know enough to say. Weird. Cool, but weird.

This entry brought to you by random wrong numbers who babble for five minutes in a language I sincerely do not recognize before pausing long enough for me to say awkwardly, “Um, I think you have the wrong number.” We determined it was a matter of leaving off the area code and that was that, but it was an interesting addition to the day.

You know, I was gonna whine about being sick, but then I thought better of it, and then I started thinking about comfort food. Anything home-cooked is comfort food for me, and the stuff we used to have for birthday dinners - fried onion blossoms, chocolate lava cakes, wontons and fat juicy fried dumplings. For some reason I think I remember latkes, way back, latkes and hush puppies in a little blue apartment kitchen. The table was pale blond wood with white tiles on top, which made it hard to draw. I drew a yellow plane anyway. I remember fried slices of Spam, runny eggs and buttered toast, lasagna and - good lord, the pies, I remember Dad making lattice-top pies once. Grandma’s vegetable and venison soup, stews and ears of corn, mashed potatoes and creamed corn and Green Giant canned peas. Raisins on peanut butter on celery.

Food is happy, for me. It’s comfort in all kinds of varieties. Somehow I grew up with an iron stomach, capable and willing to eat anything, which saved me more than once in the school cafeteria. But now, it’s those old foods I want to go back to, back when everyone was happy by the time they sat down at the kitchen table. Back when the suncatchers in the window actually caught the sun, bright and full of wonder. Back when I drew three-legged unicorns while Dad did the dishes.

It’s weird, the things you remember. But now I should go out for groceries, and I’m hungry, but I can’t eat anything because it all tastes like snot. ;_; I should eat, though, I get really shaky if I go too long without eating, and then the hypochondria kicks in and it all goes downhill from there. So! Food. Someday I will make the perfect fried dumpling. Someday. And it will taste just like the ones from the Hunan, before it closed, where I learned how to use chopsticks.

Water from a brook that I am sure things have peed in and possibly died in tastes better than water from my faucet. Incomparably better. I am not worried about germs, because water that good is worth it. And not only is it tasty, but it’s beautiful! I forgot to charge batteries for my camera, or else there’d be pictures. Whoops.

It’s a good feeling, to come home utterly exhausted and barely able to stand, ready to fall asleep at 4 in the afternoon.

*glee* A chickadee tried to land on my head. TWICE. There is nothing as cute as a wild chickadee, all puffed up against the cold, happily eating bugs from a dead log, sitting about six inches from your nose.

P.S. I didn’t get a deer yet. ;_; I want free meat. Yummy~