In high school, I took a class called Civilization. I think I took it twice, actually, because it was that awesome (and I think I failed the first time around because it was just that hard). In this class, each student invented a culture, from flag to music to myths, and the countries interacted and formed treaties and wars and trade agreements. Bartopia was primarily Russian, for example, and focused on military aspects. My country focused on trade and sucking up. It was an incredible class, and probably the only one I will distinctly remember ten years from now.

It was a video game.

We played Civilization III every day, giving the virtual country the directions we wanted, and it gave us history. There was the Great War, which involved several violated treaties and some out-of-class planning and secrecy, and there were countless trades and demands that colored how we each saw each other’s countries. So of course I’ve been telling Shan about this for ages, and the other day at Best Buy, I decided to go looking for the game.

“Wait, it was a computer game?” says he.
“Well, yes. It was really fun, but really hard,” I replied. “The new version is shinier, but I really liked the old one.”

So somehow this led to us getting Civ IV and playing it until, um, 4am. We’ve restarted several times - it takes a LONG time to get used to how things work, much less play it effectively - you control every single thing, from the roads being built to the troops’ promotions to building the World Wonders. (I like building the Hanging Gardens.) You guide your technology through a web of specific things like Animal Husbandry, The Wheel, Chemistry, Fission… You go from a single settler on a black map to building spaceships. The AI is really good in IV, too - I like Ghandi even though he keeps legalizing slavery. Stupid Peter demands all kinds of things, and when I tell him no he just kinda slinks off.

So yeah. Incredibly fun, absorbing game. I just want to recommend it to anyone that’s ever liked Risk or Life. (Steph, you would so love this. Dad, too!)

I’m turning into a bit of a foodie, it seems. (Forgive me if I use the term incorrectly - still an amateur!) It’s kinda hard to do when your weekly limit is $80 for two people, and one of them is picky. Life without onions is terrible - I keep living with people that despise them, and I’m craving French onion soup. Oh, glorious onions.

Today I made… I guess I can’t call it curry. Some leftover thin-sliced beef, half a can of condensed tomato soup, two cups cooked rice, hot sauce a coworker made, and all the spices I own! Meaning onion powder, garlic powder, and paprika. (I also have basil, but it didn’t seem to fit very well.) I need a lot more spices, but they’re so expensive and we’re trying to cut back even more on the food costs.  But we managed not to buy anything this week, so maybe I can spend a bit more for next week? Maybe some fruit. I have a hankering for canned pears, maybe some apples and yogurt… I just wish I could have had a fruitcake around Christmas. I miss fruitcake. The guys at work keep giving me tangerines, which is nice of them, but every time I get handed a citrus fruit I wince a bit. I like citrus, but then I think of citrus allergies, which is not pretty. But… citrus! So good. I want peppermint sticks and a lemon now - the sticks have air tubes through them, so you jab one into the lemon and suck out the juice. Sweetens it on the way to your mouth. Mmm.

Lunches are interesting. Shan and I are both sick of sandwiches, and neither of us are morning people, and we’re lazy, so we end up with a variety of individually-packaged snacks. I love getting yogurt, applesauce, a baggie of chips or popcorn, and a granola bar. I can (and do) eat the same thing every day and enjoy it every time - I get a bit grumpy when the routine is thrown off, too. On the other hand, that means I’m eating 6-800 calories before dinner, which I don’t get fussy about. Dinner is always some kind of meat - Shan and I are both kinda carnivores, and he won’t eat cooked or preserved veggies, just fresh ones. (He also doesn’t like meat on a bone - too much effort. I sulk at him frequently. It is incredibly hard to cook for someone who is both picky and lazy.) I like some cooked veggies, like eggplant or peppers, but they’re pretty much out of the picture. So I’ve been running out of ideas for food - how do I make meat interesting without cooking veggies or spending a lot of money?

I should really stop spoiling Atlantis for myself. But, okay, minimal spoilers. There was a whole, whole lot of stuff in the post-hiatus episodes that I had no idea about, about there were a few times I kinda, uhm, cried because it was just such a shock, and the spoiler I just got for the post-second-hiatus (how many hiatuses [hiati?] do you need in a single season, SciFi? YOU SUCK LIKE A SUCKY STARGATE-HATING THING) will actually help me not cry when I see it. I am also proud of myself - the episodes I just saw aired, like, a month and a half ago. And I had no idea about most of them.

I am babbling because OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO GOOD. But uh, the spoiler I just got? Violates even the most basic knowledge of the world while delivering an extremely important plot point that will affect the series from that point on. I mean, god, Irradiated particles that have been genetically programmed to enter into our systems and gather behind the lungs. I don’t even know where to start with that. PARTICLES WITH GENES. SOMEWHERE BEHIND THE LUNGS. There is technobabble and then there is insanity.

Sempai actually apologized, although I think Boss made her do it. We can work together again, which is what matters, but I’m keeping our conversations strictly about work. She hadn’t taken her meds for ten days straight, you see, but that’s no excuse. No excuse at all. It was her own choice to go off the meds. I won’t be treated like crap because of someone else’s problems.

Anyway. I am now old enough to buy a gun! I don’t feel any older. Just kinda worried about money. Christmas somewhat decimated my savings - not really enough to get seriously worried, but I’d like a buffer of about a grand. I’m so weird about money. Once the amount in my account hits a certain number, say, 500 - it’s untouchable. I can take anything off the top of that 500, but if it dips below that? Wow, do I freak. I actually have a fair chunk of change in the bank, all told, but I feel like I have nothing. Mostly because it’s all in savings - I get $30 each week that I can actually spend, although for the last few weeks it’s been nothing because of the unpaid holidays. Ugh. At least I’m getting really good at restricting my spending. Mostly by never carrying any form of money with me. If I want something enough to go back for it a half dozen times, I’ll get it, but no more impulse buys. …Mostly. Okay, so I suck at being a responsible adult. I DON’T CARE.

Oh, and also? Not drinking. I really don’t want to be miserable with a hangover on my birthday, and I get the hangover right away, so. Alcohol-free birthday.

Sooooooo. Today sucked. I’m still kinda shaky from getting so damned mad and biting it back - Sempai has Issues about the other woman in our department, but refuses to actually talk to her or Boss about them, so she takes it out on me. Today I finally asked her what her problem was with me, because seriously, what the hell did I do? And she threatened to fire me. Uh, she doesn’t have that authority, by the way. It was pretty funny, and also made me really, really mad. But I bit it back, and then later went to talk to Boss and asked, “Did Sempai come talk to you? I just wanted to make sure she told you that she wants to fire me.”
Boss: Are you serious? *laugh* That’s so… She doesn’t want to fire you.
Me: Oh, I know, but ten minutes ago she wanted me to die in a fire.
Boss: Pft! She’s just mad at [other woman]. Don’t worry about it.
Me: Oh no, just making sure she actually follows through on her threats. Wouldn’t do to let it slide, you know.
…Boss is a guy, by the way. I think I made him sound a little effeminate there. BUT ANYWAY. If Boss says I am fine, I am fine. I think my rate is better than Sempai’s anyway, and Boss and I both know that I care more about quality control. I know what Sempai’s problem is - she’s mad and jealous of the other woman, who works part-time and is ostensibly department lead, and she thinks I’m a younger copy of the woman with lung cancer whom I’m replacing. Seriously - anything this woman, let’s call her C, did, I am expected to telepathically know how to do it AND be as good at it as she was. Does not work that way. I am a different person. I’d whine more about it, but I catch on quickly enough that it really isn’t a problem. By the time it annoys the crap out of me, I’ve got whatever I was learning down pat and it’s not really an issue anymore.

I think perhaps I am destined to not like a job for any more than a few months. I… will definitely stay long enough to get money for a car and pay off my credit card, and then I will consider looking for a new job. That will take a while, so I might as well suck it up and get used to being pissed off.

Okay, uh, this is nuts. It is the 8th of January and the windows are open. So wrong. So, so wrong. It was 62F this weekend, a record high breaking the 42F record set in the 1800s. And of course, the window is open because I burned dinner. Sigh. It’s the first time since we moved in! And the results were still edible! I’ve actually found a lot of happiness in tossing a few ingredients together and coming up with something really nice. Strips of beef marinated in soy sauce and fresh ginger, say. Teriyaki from scratch. Cooking dinner is nice, most of the time. Sometimes it’s a pain. Usually at the end of the week, when the freezer is looking bare. Or when there’s pork. Ugh. Remind me next time to stuff it with parmesan. But anyway, outside is so neat - I like being able to hear people walking by, just look over and see the… okay, see the house across the street, but it’s a nice place! Very Japanese-y.

I finally gave in and got a knee brace. Not just one of those dinky strap ones, but one with springs in the sides to support. I figured I’d work my way up to the contraption with the hinges if I needed to. It’s…. glorious. I really cannot express my joy. I was lucky enough to get one that actually kinda fits, since my calf is one size and my thigh another and my knee is just like WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, so it only rides down a little when I’m sitting and it pulls back up just fine - but most importantly, I can walk up stairs. There are five steps leading up into the apartment building, and I’ve had to walk up them like a crippled old lady with a prosthetic leg. With the brace and the warm weather? I can walk almost normally! It’s fantastic. My leg can bear weight~ I can actually stand up and do my job~ Even if it feels like it’s pressing funny at the back of my knee. I can deal with that. I can walk! And climb stairs! I CAN CLIMB STAIRS. I want to now, just because I can.

My GPA so far is 3.85. AWESOME. English was an A- and Algebra was an A+. I rock so hard.

I am busily trying to hide my birthday from everyone after having let it slip that I turn 21 this month. I will accept gifts of booze, but well-wishes will be snarled at. Don’t ask why I’m so weird about my birthday, I really don’t know why. I don’t plan on getting drunk, either - I get the hangover after the first drink. Before I finish it, most of the time. I don’t mind. It’s nice to have automatic self-restraint like that. It’s an incentive not to drink - there’s no reward for me, no pleasant high that isn’t tempered by agonizing pain. Everyone should get a hangover after the first drink, I think.

I do kind of want to go to a bar, though. Just to see what it’s like. Loud, I imagine. I always imagine bars to have sticky floors and to smell of cheap cigars, with sports playing on the TV and too-dim lights keeping the drunks comfortable. Enchanting.

So goddamn tired. I hardly write anymore, just go to work and stare at Gmail and watch House and go to sleep. Yesterday I did the laundry - I fell asleep at the laundromat. How sad is that. And then I came home and, guess what, fell asleep. Shan woke me up in the evening for a while, and then more sleep. And now I’m exhausted and grouchy as hell and want to go to sleep, and it’s 4pm. What the hell. Not that I can go to bed, because it’s covered in laundry which is waiting for Shan to put it away. And I need to do the dishes. Sigh.