Has it really been a week since I last blogged? Man. Status update!

Am sleeping all the damn time. I can’t wind down after class until 10:30 or so, and then up at 4:30, so I nap at lunch break and on the ride home and I even took a nap in bed one day, which is absolutely unheard of. I think Wednesday. So by the end of the week I am just so damn tired, even with all the napping, and I can’t make my brain work enough to do any homework until halfway through Saturday. And yet my math grades so far are, in chronological order: 90, 93, 96. No grades in English yet, but I should have one next week when the narrative is graded. I’m not actually checking my math work, just being arrogant and deciding that whatever answer I arrive at is correct, but I think I’ll start doing that - we just got into graphing equations, and I hate it as much as I hate division. I was arrogant out loud in English this week. We had to go back through our final drafts and add prepositional phrases, and once I knew what a prepositional phrase was I realized that this is one of the things vital to my writing style (as are my peculiar habits of beginning sentences with conjunctions and ending them with prepositions) and I looked at the teacher and asked, “But what if my paper is perfect?” He had this slightly pained look, and he flipped my paper where he could see, and then he blinked and said, “Oh, you already have a lot of prepositions. That’s good.” “Why yes,” I replied, slightly confused. “That’s what I just said.” I was a little tired. It was funny for me. I am painfully confident I will have the best grade in that class, because I really am incredibly arrogant about my writing when I’m not horribly self-flagellating.

Also, in math class, I decided to flip to the back of the book and choose a random problem for fun. It was actually three equations of three variables each; I have no idea what I was supposed to do, but I solved each for each variable and then plugged every one of them into the others. I gave up on the third sheet of paper because x cannot equal both 3 and 4, although I will grudgingly consider that it may be equal to both z and 3z and possibly 2y-1.

Absolute value is supposed to be easy, but my book tells me that for |x|=p, I should solve for x=p and x=-p. This makes no sense to me, since p is not being affected by the absolute value, and in an equality I can just toss the negative on the X side, but then in the inequalities section there is flipping of signs that I simply cannot make sense if I have the negative on the other side. Perhaps after I sleep I can do that. Oh, jeez, yes, divide by negative one and flip the inequality. Duh, me.

Needless to say, I have had numbers and boxes (don’t ask, just don’t, I boxed about 500 can openers today in addition to running around moving boxes to shelves and more boxes to shelves and some boxes to shipping and fixing the machine every time Jaime fucked it up and - god.) floating behind my eyelids almost constantly. I feel like I’m swimming all the time. It’s kinda surreal. I am told this is adulthood, this constant sleep deprivation, and I must say that if this is really it, I’m so moving to the wilds of Canada and living off rabbits and snow. I might keep the Internet, though.

Wow. It was really weird to have a full weekend. I know I only worked two Saturdays in a row, but I’ve been getting used to things really quickly lately. But man, so nice. I finished almost all of my revisions to my paper, got some writing of my own done, watched half of the second season of Atlantis (thank you Ally!) and just generally kicked back. Mmm. It was very nice to not be rushing around all the time between work and school and finding a few seconds for my own fun. Is this what being an adult is supposed to be like? Because I would go insane and run naked into the woods or something. Seriously.

I’ve been making a list of bookmarks of all the SGA fic I’ve read that I really liked. It’s… maybe a third done. And it’s huge. I can’t believe I’ve read that much, it’s just incredible, and so much of it is so great. There are stories that I’ve read ten times and they still make me feel like my heart is being ripped out. That is some powerful writing, there.

Despite sleeping until 10 today and noon yesterday, I am tired. I think I’ll get a snack and watch some TV. Yay for sedentary lifestyle! (Actually, I think I’ve started losing weight again, which is awesome.) Oh, and I should be getting the teeth for my Halloween costume within the next few days. I’m remarkably excited - they’re really cool teeth. I should start modifying that jacket, though - I need to remember to pick up some buttons or something, heavy-duty stuff. The last set of buttons all ripped off, but it was shoddily done anyhow. I should really re-dye it, too, since it’s so faded, but I’m not sure Shan’s mother would appreciate me using her washer like that. I suppose I can ask. I can always toss it in the wheelbarrow and use that as a tub or something. Creative uses for everything!

Absolute drivel. I am gonna need to polish this so hard for the final draft. But hey, it’s a rough draft, I can get away with not being perfect in a rough draft, unlike when I write on my own. Gah. I dug out the court papers to refresh my memory, and Dad emailed me some helpful stuff, and I have one more page to go! Well, a page and a half. Ugh. And three pages of math due tomorrow. Well, slightly less than three, since I did a lot more than I meant to last night and finally gave up because I was too tired to re-learn division. I seriously had no idea it was so - my god, you have to blindly guess. No wonder I can’t do it. I just - how can I be twenty and not able to divide? But it makes no sense! I mean, as a concept yes, but the actual arithmetic of it is just so impossible. Ugh. Division.

Right, distracted. Less than two hours to get another two-thirds of a page. (Yes, I wrote that much bullshit since starting this entry.) I can totally do it - I haven’t even gotten to the part where Dad almost got run over and left me an orphan! It’s the best part of the whole story and totally doesn’t fit into my narration. Hee.

Edit: I am SO DONE my paper. So done. A whole, mm, twenty minutes before I have to go to class. GO ME. Dad, you can read the final draft. I am slightly ashamed of having my name associated with this garbage right now. SO MUCH BULLSHIT AHAHA.

Alright! Paper is going well! I need to stop worrying about stretching it into four pages and just write the end already. I can stretch it later. It has to be at least a sketchy outline by tomorrow night; next week I can perfect it. As it is, I don’t know when I’ll do my math. Sigh. At least the math is easy. I never thought I’d say that, but there you go. I should work on it while watching TV before bed tonight - it’s calming, unlike this damn paper. Why on earth did I decide to write about my ex-mother? Sheesh. I wonder about myself sometimes. On the plus side, I already have a lot of research for my next paper, the rough draft of which is due… in four more weeks. I think I’ll be fine.

On another icky note, more bits keep falling off my toe. This is remarkably disturbing, since it’s not like… dead bits. It bleeds. Very creepy.

I gave in and ordered the teeth for my Halloween costume with my nice overtime money. Mmmm. I suspect I’ll need to Dremel out part of the lower set; I have a peculiar tooth that kinda decided to step out of line, and I’m not sure thermoplastic can deal with that when it’s been pre-molded for an average mouth. But, not a big deal. Maybe next week I’ll get all the makeup and practice with the - oh snap, I forgot that I’ll need spirit gum remover. That could have been a painful mistake. Och. (And yes, I actually know what these things are, and if I dared and had a cool helper I’d make a plaster mold of my head to play with, because dude, plaster mold of your own head. I am turning into such a geek.)
Three out of four pages done! Ganbare! 

Yay! Today is very yay. Finally got some good stuff going in the paper, albeit slowly (I intend to scramble something out for the rough draft and basically start from scratch for the final, but I do want a good, strong opening to set the piece), got another appointment for my learner’s permit test (forgot my ID last time), dyed my hair after like two months, poked my toe and realized that okay, bits are falling off again, but it’s almost grown out all the way! This is a wonderful thing, which will lead to a vast reduction in pain. I can actually tug at my skin and see the edge of my toenail. This is probably far too much information. I really should get all that scar tissue hacked off - it’s still doing unpleasant things. Sigh. But it looks so much better! And my knee has barely been bothering me at all, which is wonderful, and I think I’m getting more upper body strength from all the hauling around and lifting 15 lb things over my shoulder that I do at work. (I still can’t quite lift things over my head, so I have issues with that seventh level of manual can openers, but I’m getting better without hurting myself!) I’m considering trying SlimFast again, because seriously, goddamn. I eat so much. It’s easier to say, “I am only going to have this can of ick” than “I can probably have a sandwich and some chips, and maybe later something else, I dunno, maybe sorta kinda.” So. Will think about that. It’d be, hmm, ten bucks a week? Ish? That might be worth it. I’m almost done my Christmas shopping, so not too worried about having cash for that. We’ll see.

So yes, very good day. I am pleased. Now I just need to wind down and go to bed early.

Reminder to self: Write paper tomorrow after sleeping for a very damn long time. Apologize again to Shan for being emotionally unbalanced and crying all over him for absolutely no reason, and remember to say thank you for the snuggles. Talk to Ally and go into an ectasy of glee over Atlantis, which was so totally awesome in every way. I had exactly one complaint about the inclusion of a certain character, but then they made him useful and interesting instead of gratuitous, so I really had no complaints, although I do have questions. Also, think about the last of the Christmas shopping - only 7 or 9 people left! Yay! And speaking of which, send Amazon wishlist to sorta-in-laws, since they asked for it. Finish bookmarking awesome stories for SGA and send a huge list to Ally, who is totally never gonna read them all, so put them in some kind of order.

Oh hey. It’s Friday. No class, Stargate tonight, work tomorrow. Brilliant. I should nap so I can actually watch my beloved Atlantis and wake up in the morning. Because yeah, enough with the tired-making. Being up until 11 and then getting up at 4:30ish? Not fun. So, nap! Because I am so staying up until 11 tonight. Shan can fall asleep with the TV on, but I can’t. Weirdly, I can fall asleep with music playing. It’s not necessary, though - out here the crickets and frogs make plenty of noise.

Nap. Then Stargate and sleep and then work and THEN maybe some shopping for a cheapo CD player with a grounded plug. Apparently Maintenance has to inspect any electronic stuff you bring into work, i.e. a CD player, but the only qualification is having a grounded plug. This may not be so simple. Right, enough talking, nap. Nap nap nap. Mmmm nap.

Also, pimp.

SLEEEEEEEEP. I’m done all my homework and trying to think of a topic for my essay that I’m actually willing to write about. I was gonna do my court thing, but - I just can’t. Not for five pages, not even double-spaced. I was so nervous I barely remember what happened, except that afterwards Dad almost walked into traffic and left me an orphan. Which was kinda funny, since he didn’t actually get hit. If he had, it wouldn’t have been very funny. I may have been a little giddy at the time. Anyway - I can’t think of anything else to write, but if I write that, it’s gonna suck and it’s gonna have to be done all at once, because I just don’t think I can plan out a paper about it. I don’t even want to think about it - that day was so terrifying, and such a relief and joy. There’s a strength of emotion there I’m not sure I can put into words.

On the other hand, I know what my next paper will be about, and I’ve already started gathering resources. It’ll be wicked fun - I need to do a little more research to be sure of my outline, and then I can start sketching it out. But I should really get the essay done first. Bleh. Oh, and I finished all my math and I’m positive I did it right (after I figured out that one division problem was 60, not 62) and I’m very proud of myself. And now I go bathe and tend to my wounds. Stupid splinters under the nail. Ow.

nrrrgh. Sleepy. Remind me why I agreed to work on a Saturday.

So I got around to getting a headset so I can have Skype, which is really cool and free, and oh wow. It feeds back the pickup into the headphones, so I hear my actual voice talking. It sounds so wrong. I’ve never really heard my own voice before, not clearly, so it’s - wow. I thought I spoke a lot deeper than that. It’s really cool and freaky.

Oh, and since I’m thinking about it, I do have an Amazon wishlist which I’m keeping updated as I think of things. They have trouble giving me recommendations; apparently my tastes are eclectic.

I didn’t have tweed-jacket-man, although I am apparently infamous as “Semicolon Girl”. I do not mind this. And god, my Math teacher! She thinks I’m crazy for refusing to cross-reduce fractions, but I just. It does not compute. I have to work it out the long way, and she actually took the time to explain the long way and I got it. For the first time in my life, I’m starting to get fractions.

In a bizarre yet usual twist of fate, I taught the people around me algebra while they taught me arithmetic. And this teacher! I think I love her. She’s geared more towards making normal people understand math, aka not making us memorize weird terms and having us take notes in a language that makes sense to us (my notes are entirely variables in formulas with no explanations, because that is just how I work), but she’s totally willing to answer my stupid questions about things like exponents that I should have learned ages ago. I am encouraged and delighted - I got a take-home test and did the first page before I went to bed in about 15 minutes.

Ah, gotta go to work!