Work gave me a lunch but forgot that whole break thing, so they let me out 15 minutes early - just in time to revel in the first real thunderstorm of the season, temperatures dropping about twenty degrees in five minutes, huge fat soft drops of rain whisking the opressive humidity out of the air. It was glorious. I splashed in puddles for a while and then rescued some carts, including an electric that may never run again. The customers thought this was hilarious. I suppose someone my age isn’t supposed to be so excited by thunderstorms, but screw that. They’re great. Now just toss me some ocean with that thunderstorm and I’ll be set for a year. I still recall fondly the storm I greeted on a Maine beach tucked between two steep cliffs and a marsh as the night rose. God, that was beautiful.

There was just this awesome crack of thunder - the rain was just drizzling, there hadn’t been hardly any noise for a while, and then BAM. It was sharp and loud enough to send all the birds into a panic. Sounded almost like a cannon going off. It was awesome.

It is officially summer - the flooding rains were our spring, and that actually lasted longer than usual, giving way to the dry rumble of thunder. The heat makes me want cool showers and air conditioning, the ice cream man keeps coming by, and the blankets are all in the closet. It is summer. I’ve gotten out my summer clothes, the t-shirts worn thin with age, and I eye the sandal displays in stores because I can’t stand wearing socks, socks are somehow the one article of clothing that makes me overheat. I never wear shorts - taking off my socks is enough to make the heat bearable, most days.

I wanna go to the ocean. It’ll still be icy, with the weather just turning hot - too cold to swim, but just right for rolling up your pants and wading in, feeling the sand sluice out from under your feet. Just right for tide pools not yet scavenged by tourists and children, starfish and urchins crawling over the rocks. The sky would be grey, the ocean spreading out endless and steely, smelling of fresh linen and ozone and salt and fish. There’s always wind coming off the ocean, chill enough for goosebumps, sweeping over the endless expanse with nothing to stop it until it hits your face. The shops along the beachfront are closed, desolate and peeling, not another person in sight but for the woman walking her labrador along the surf.

I used to wonder why Legolas left.

I have been informed that today is a holiday. I grumble in the general direction of this holiday. Not over any moral objection to its inception, mind you, but rather to the idea that SOME places must stay open FOR THE GOOD OF THE PUBLIC thus causing me to get up at FIVE IN THE MORNING ON A HOLIDAY. Rar. I suppose I shouldn’t complain, since I did say I’d work holidays and it was only a 5-hour shift. Poor Rita had to work 15 hours yesterday, and the night manager had been there for 17 when I came in, and I don’t think he’d left when I did. Apparently yesterday was bad. Friday was hellish, I can tell you that.

I started reading again! Unfortunately, I rediscovered my penchant for consuming literature at an insane pace. ;_; Sad face. Anyway, I read Naomi Novik’s Temeraire (I only can spell that because the book is next to me, and I cannot come close to pronouncing it even in my head - I resorted to a shortened and butchered “Teimerai” for the entirety of my reading) trilogy, of which two books have actually, uh, been published. I found the series entirely by happenstance (oh lord, the peculiar archaisms of the books are invading my speech); I was actually looking for fanfic for Stargate. Someone mentioned a fanfic author, and backhandedly mentioned that said author has also written some published books. I checked out her fanfic, and it’s truly incredible writing, so the books were bought. I think it took me six hours to reach each book? The second book by itself is 400 pages, so yeah. I read kinda fast. This is why I like the Internet - nearly unlimited words lined up in rows for my consumption. (I am the sort that reads ingredient lists while eating breakfast for entertainment - they are words in rows, thus must be read.) Supplying myself with books, nevermind good books, would make me very poor very fast. This is also why I read manga in the store. It takes five minutes, and generally not worth a re-read. If I think I will read it again, I buy the volume. That simple. (I buy Death Note right now, and Shan follows Cowboy Bebop when he can find it, but I stopped following Naruto and Getbackers entirely.)
In conclusion, I think this series is going to be up there with the Coldfire Trilogy as one of my favorite book series of all time. Yeah, it’s that good. It’s fresh fantasy, none of the reworked hyperbole crap that populates bookstore shelves. It’s like… Pern meets Master and Commander or something. It’s got China giving Napoleon a dragon egg, what more do you want? I can’t wait for the last book to come out. I hope the diplomatic relations with China work out - England was rather getting squashed by France last I checked, and they could use some of China’s Scarlet Flower dragons to supplement their fighting force. I really can’t understate how cool these books are. Laurence is possibly the most stiff-upper-lip main character ever to gain my sympathy as a reader, and Teimeraire (had to check the spelling again) is just so awesome and adorable all at once. Watching him grow up was so cool. XD

His Majesty’s Dragon is the first book, and Throne of Jade the second, by Naomi Novik. Very good.

So this weekend Shan and I are gonna house-sit his sister’s place, keep the dog and cat company. Both creatures like me, and the dog adores Shan beyond belief (and I’ve only met the dears once, but I think they took a fancy to me - most animals do) so the only problem should be my allergies. I will bring many Claritin pills. I always react to unfamiliar animals, for whatever reason. Reactions to individual animals fade after long exposure - I’m no longer allergic to Segakitty, Steph’s cat, for example. But I’m always really bad with dogs. Mostly because I like hugging them, which gets dander all over my face. >_> Maybe a bad idea. But they’re so cuddly!

Which reminds me of something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Having grown up with cats, ever since I was born, I’ve learned to communicate some basic stuff to them - it’s all about the face muscles. Wideness of the eyes and tension around the lips communicate a lot. Mostly I’m good at telling a cat that I’m cool with the world, which involves some very languid blinking and a slight curl of the lips. But I’ve also told a cat that I was the one making that funny noise, or that I just want to pet them and not play, or that I really want to be friends. Our cat here has a weird thing about his head, but it wasn’t too long before he started head-butting me and wanting scritchies behind the ears. I like cats. Dogs are a different matter - they’re like cute kids. I like them for limited periods of time, and then they’re just annoying. Plus, I don’t understand them, and I’m a little afraid of the big ones. I can never tell if that look means they’re hungry or they’re going to bite me.

So that leads to my thought. Can dog people understand dogs the way cat people understand cats? There is a language there, albeit one that isn’t verbal, and it bothers me a little to know there’s a language that leaves me so baffled. I like languages. They’re shiny.

just sing

Anyway, we started watching season 1 of Lost last night. I can’t believe how much sense some of it makes now, and how truly incredible the scripting and shooting is. The havoc after the crash, for example - it gets replayed a bazillion different times through the series, and yet it’s fresh every time. There’s always something else to absorb. It’s a TV show that doesn’t believe in dumbing things down, which I really appreciate. The only dumb TV I like is the Crocodile Hunter.

Neato T-shirts!
FF7 claymation parody KFC thing! Which will be on mainstream TV at some point in time! It really shouldn’t be as funny as it is.
Really awesome contact lenses!

I also organized my bookmarks for the first time in about two years or something. I should organize all my files, back up the Windows partition, something. Such a blah day. Don’t feel like playing KH2 - I hate the Tron world, bleh. I kinda wish work had been longer - today was the boss’ last day, and I was just kicking around doing reshop. Putting carts of crap back on the shelves, you know. On a bad day we’ll get five carts piled high with stuff people just didn’t want at the last minute.

What I really, really hate is when a customer gets halfway through putting their stuff on the belt, I’m halfway through what’s up there, and they run to the other side of the store to get something they forgot. WHEN YOU ARE CHECKING OUT YOU ARE DONE SHOPPING. THIS IS NOT OPTIONAL. Grapgffhsdkjf. Also I DO NOT CARE if you forgot your store discount card - it is not my responsibility, you’re the one that forgot it, you can pay full retail price. I will not hold up the line and hunt down the supervisor so you can save thirty goddamn cents. ALSO ALSO if you don’t want an item, HAND IT TO ME instead of PUTTING IT ON THE CANDY RACK. Does that can of peas go on the candy rack? NO. It does not. And if you decide you don’t want a refrigerated item? FUCK YOU TOO. I can’t spare a bagger to go put it back. Pay the 70 cents for the damn yogurt and shut your face.

ALSO ALSO ALSO every goddamn night some asswipe tries to steal a cart full of meat, can’t, and leave it in the middle of the bakery. Where it is unrefrigerated. For the rest of the night, because HEY WOW NO ONE GOES OVER THERE. And then the meat guys yell at the Front End (registers and customer service) because we were supposed to be telepathic and get to the meat before it went warm. Whatever, guys - the dairy department doesn’t bitch when their milk gets left out and spoils. Grocery doesn’t whine when cans get dented. Grow uuuuuuuup.

I feel better now. XD Funny how whining gives me energy. No need for Powerbars! Give me whine! (and cheese, please.)

Four-hour shift tomorrow at 6am. It’ll be over before I wake up. That is not necessarily a good thing - I can’t keep my attention on things lately, so I’ll be insanely bored all day. Did some reading from an old psychology textbook, sorted my old CTY papers, emoed all over the place, watched the extras on the Advent Children DVD, went in to work for a meeting about alcohol selling stuff. That was kinda like being in the dumb classes at school - a horrible movie, having to read out loud to the class, filling in a worksheet and taking a seven-question quiz. Except this quiz determines if you keep your job. Luckily, they tell you the answers as you’re answering, so even if you’re retarded you’ll get it right. Yep, just like school. It was actually kinda fun. We ended up telling stories about stupid customers.

Me: Yeah, at my last job this kid I went to high school with tried to give me a fake ID. I was like, “Dude, I know you’re 19.”
Coworker: Oh my god,  how stupid can you get?
Me: Well, he came back.
Boss: You’re kidding. *laugh* What, did he go back to grab the beer then notice you were at the register and left?
Me: No, that was the third time he came in.
Coworkers: …AHAHAHA.

So today was a weird day. Boring, but weird.

My hakama is so awesome. Floofy! Poofy! Obscure knots and ties! I found a whole bunch of directions for tying obi, including men’s obi for once, which pleases me. Obi are complicated. Apparently there are different cuts, not just different way to tie it, and the cut influences how you tie it? And no one ever actually explains these things, just brushes it off with a “oh, just search the web, there’s all kinds of directions” or “tying men’s obi is much simpler, so we’ll just skip that part” or “by the way, you need this little pillow to make this bow, and this other site over here might mention the pillow has to be 20cmx5cm.”

Not that I really care. My hips are not made for kimono. But now I know what knots to use for different people! Yaaay! Single young women, you get the bestest bows ever.

I hate my stomach. So fickle. Hunger is somehow translated as indigestion - I have learned to accurately guess if my upset stomach is hungry or sick, mostly by what time of day it is. Can’t lie on my stomach for long, it gets upset. Can’t eat before bed, it gets sick. Can’t eat after getting up, you guessed it. I’ve learned that being warm makes my indigestion worse, Coke and Tums make it better, Alkaseltser cures upset stomachs by being so disgusting you throw up, and that the worst always hits around 3am on a weekday. Sitting up helps, fresh air helps, sitting in front of the toilet makes the nausea go away right up until you stand, and burping is not a bad thing even when it tastes funny.

Why yes, I got up at 3am with an upset stomach and am nursing a can of Coke. I just feel bad for Shan - I always wake him up when I get up sick, and he has to go to work at insane ‘o clock no matter what. ;_; He suffers more from my indigestion than I do, sometimes.

On the other hand, my knee only hurts when I keep it bent sharply for a while. Still dunno what I did, but hey, no more acute pain, so I don’t care.

OH COOL. This bird outside just pulled up a worm! I’ve never actually seen one do that before. That is so awesome.

I was looking at some of my CTY papers, specifially the ones about subliminal messages, and I absently said out loud, “I am such a genius.” Of course, it helps that I had an awesome smart moment. Shan and I were discussing movement in molecules - he mentioned that this movement is never faster than the speed of sound, and I hummed thoughtfully and considered that and then looked over and said, “But sound is movement between particles.” I felt really smart. ♥ I think that was my allotment of smart for the day, because I then went and bought some clothes that don’t really fit. Sigh. I also couldn’t remember if light is a particle, waveform, or both.
As you can tell, nothing much has happened lately.
The lake is a gorgeous writhing brown. The bottom of the lake must be such a mess. Only the deepest parts are still gunsteel grey, reflecting the heavy cloudcover. There was a river that might have had a small dam just before a bridge - it was liquid mud, rushing so insanely fast and tall, huge plumes curling over whatever had the misfortune of being there. The pictures I’ve seen of the dam back home are insane - I can’t even reconcile that huge wall of water with the bone-dry lakebed I grew up with. I don’t think I can really express how incredible I find that.

I like having an alter-ego. No, seriously - FFXI attracts me because there, I/Vyaavi am competent and sexy and the perfect balance of offensive and enthusiastic. I can beat things up, I can insult idiots freely, I can make my own path and choose a job and mix it with whatever other job I want, and I can dress in cool clothes and talk with cool people and earn a whole hell of a lot of money and then blow it all. But then I realize that as a game, I’m just not interested anymore. I don’t like level-grinding, I don’t like questing, I don’t like crafting, I don’t like partying, and soloing isn’t worth the frustration. What I like is the character I’ve created.

Also, I find it really bizarre that I’m rationing out my green tea. One cup every three weeks or so, I think. There’s nowhere up here to get good green tea, just the crap with so much citrus added I don’t know why they call it green. I want a good, steaming cup of bitter green, thank you. The kind that makes my tongue furry and settles my stomach and you can’t drink the dregs because DAYUM is that bitter. Mmmm. Fortunately, I still have about five bags of the good stuff Shan and I got for Christmas - he unknowingly donated his supply, apparently because he does not like tea. All the more for me, keh heh heh.

I really need to lay off the Stargate: Atlantis stuff. I am beginning to live inside McKay’s head, which is uh not the best place for anyone who desires any kind of social skills.

P.S. I keep finding all these wonderful things. Sitting with a hot cup of tea, listening to the cat snore and the birds chirp and smelling the lilacs is so unspeakably wonderful. I love this quiet feeling inside.